This post is not only for those that consider themselves a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), but also for those that would like to learn more about how we tick and what we need to thrive in the corporate world.
It was about three years ago, when I listened to a podcast that explained the character trait of a highly sensitive person. And my world was forever changed. Because all of a sudden, everything made a little bit more sense to me, I finally understood "what was wrong with me".
For the past 33 years of my life, I always wondered why I felt different, why I felt so intensely every emotion, and also every story that I heard from others, why I was never a fan of big groups and party gatherings, why I always felt extremely exhausted at the end of the day and needed more than 9 hours of sleep to recover, why I had so much trouble falling asleep and disconnecting, why caffeine and alcohol had such an intense effect on me, and why I could always relate to others easily.
A highly sensitive person has an increased sensitivity of the central nervous system and a deeper cognitive processing of physical, social and emotional stimuli (Wikipedia); the personality trait is called sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS).
High-Sensitivity is largely genetic and involves several unique differences in the brain. It is seen in people with a difficult childhood and can be developed with age. It is scientifically proven that, for an HSP, the part of the brain that processes emotion, awareness and empathy has an increased blood flow. In easy terms, they FEEL - a lot.
About 15-20% of the population has this higher cognitive function and unlike some preconception, 30% of HSPs are extroverts. Yes, that's right. Don't confuse the HSP trait with introverts. While there might be some characteristics that are similar, there are very specific differences. Let's look at this.
HSPs vs. Introverts
Characteristics of Introverts
Affects 30-50% of the population, and is a well-studied personality trait
People that tend to be more quiet, reserved and introspective
Focus on internal thoughts and have a lot of them
Prefers minimally stimulating environments
Enjoys spending time alone, including doing work
Don't always feel easily overstimulated and quickly stressed out
Can be less in tune with people
You can be an introvert without being an HSP (and you also can be both)
The biggest difference: HSPs have increased sensitivity, not just emotions, but different types of sensory input. HSPs are really in tune with people and feel easily overstimulated and quickly stressed out - Introverts don't necessarily feel like that. You can be an introvert and NOT having that sensitivity to light, smell, taste, touch, temperature and sound. As an introvert, you might not pick up well what other people think or feel - so being an introvert doesn't mean you have that emotional sensor that HSPs have.
How you know you are an HSP
HSPs can feel more, they are prone to absorbing stress (not only ours, but those of others), they feel anxious and overwhelmed easily - because their nervous system has the ability to take more in, they need longer to wind down, switch off and disconnect.
You are coping with increased sensitivity to light, smell, taste, touch, temperature and sound
You are feeling overstimulated quickly
You are absorbing stress and negativity of others
You are feeling things intensely (watching a violent movie)
You are experiencing emotional hangovers
You are feeling isolated and lonely
You are experiencing emotional burnout
You are reacting strongly to caffeine, alcohol and other drugs
You are not a fan of big gatherings and groups
You are feeling better in small cities than in large ones
You tend to go quiet in big groups and bloom in 1:1
Stress Management Tips for HSPs
Get to know your HSP traits:
Which senses are the ones that affect you the most (sound, sight, taste, touch)?
Create a list of locations that strengthen you and that rob your energy
Create a list of people that give you energy and that rob your energy
Practice to recognize first signs of sensory overload
[GENERAL] How to reduce stress as an HSP:
Know your boundaries and communicate it
Manage your time wisely: be ok to cancel plans when you feel overloaded, balance alone time with people time, don't plan too many things in one day
Self-care and practicing mindfulness is absolute highest priority
Set check-in reminders on your phone
Request time-out if you feel overwhelmed
Create your own safe space (at home, it could be a piece of furniture or a room; at work it could be decorating your desk with plants and pictures from your loved ones)
Recharge your batteries by going for walks in nature or going on a solo-trip
Be mindful: how is your breathe (typical for HSPs is holding your breathe), check if you are tense
Have small rituals, for example walk barefoot on a regular basis (it grounds you)
Be smart about managing your time (mono-tasking vs. multi-tasking)
Reduce social media time
Sleep a lot (the more senses you use, the more sleep you need)
Learn how to not identify with other people's emotions
Think before responding
Manage energy efficiently
View difficult people as your teachers
[SPECIFIC] Noise:
[SPECIFIC] Sight:
Take regular breaks to close your eyes
Wear a sleeping mask
See lots of green
Limit device time
[SPECIFIC] Touch:
Take a bath
Get a massage
Get cuddles from loved ones
HSPs in the workplace
HSPs are crucial in the workplace for many reasons:
Have an incredibly high emotional quotient (EQ)
Build rapport, listen well and empathize with others
Are extremely organized and good in structuring details
Can process a lot of input and can come up with solutions
They care - about work, about relationships, about results
Aware of subtleties: see things that other people are not
Have a strong perception with lots of ideas for improvement
Love to work with people, make a difference and be of service to others
How you can use your HSP trait to your advantage:
How it can make you stand out in a positive way
See list above :-)
How you can sell it as a great asset for your team
Communicate your unique skill set, educate your team and what comes easy to you and offer your help! People don't know until they know, it' s a gift - share it with others
Share your unique challenges with your manager and discuss what you need to thrive, it's nothing to be ashamed of and can not only put your mind at ease, but also put yourself up for (more!!) success
Study what you notice and learn as an HSP, and offer a "Strengthening your EQ" training to your team
Working with difficult stakeholders and internal teams - you know how to connect with them and move past differences to get work done, offer advice to team mates or take on the challenge yourself becoming a valued team member in the process
You are a brainstorm mastermind, you can take in a lot of information and help give structure to it - if there is a complex project that someone needs to tackle, you should go for it! (but make sure to manage your stress levels regularly to not burn out!)
You are an intuitive visionary, able to see the big picture - isn't that what your company is always highlighting and rewarding?!
The downsides:
Take feedback easily to heart: one critical comment can shake us for days
Experience a heightened stress response (e.g. being in a noisy common workspace, being surrounded by negative, stressed out people)
Lower threshold for conflict and office politics
Need to feel real connection
Will request other people's approval before making a decision
Need more self-care to wind down and disconnect
Have trouble falling asleep because of overstimulation
Tips for HSPs when working with other people
Adjust your attitude: be a guide to your co-workers
Don't try to fix others
Don't feel responsible for someone's progress, people change on their own timeline, not yours
Find three obvious differences between you and the person you work with
Tips if you are working with an HSP:
Don't undervalue them, we quickly put a "too sensitive" stamp on them, while they present unique gifts and talents that you can work with if you know how
Don't try to fix an HSP
Keep them in the loop, the more they know the better they can help
Be gentle when giving feedback
Have their backs (HSPs thrive on trust and relationships)
Put them into roles mentioned in the section "How you can sell it as a great asset for your team"
Further reading:
The Highly Sensitive Person, by Elaine Aron (PhD)
The Empath's Survival Guide, by Judith Orloff
https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/empaths-highly-sensitive-people-introverts/